Mind and Soul

  • Mind and Soul, Motherhood

    5 Lessons Moms Can Learn From Dr. Maya Angelou

    5 Lessons every mom can learn from Maya Angelou

    During my early twenties, like most young women I went through a period of self- exploration where I tried to figure out who I was and my purpose. During this period, I stumbled upon Dr.Maya Angelou’s famous book “I know why the caged bird sings” . Reading this book turned out to be a pivotal moment in my life sparked my curiosity about her life and a desire to soak up her wisdom. Since, then I’ve read her entire autobiography collection and was the first person at Barne and Nobles to buy Letters to My Daughters. After reading all her books, I took away many lessons but I wanted to share 5 lessons that I believe moms can learn from her.

    Lesson#1: Live a full life.

    5 Lessons every mom can learn from Dr. Maya Angelou
    Photo Courtesy Dr. Maya Angelou Official Website.

     

    Maya was the quintessential mom in heels; she regarded her beauty and presence very highly and had an admirable high level self-love and confidence. She lived a full life that I immediately thought about when I learned about her passing. She embraced the ups and downs and didn’t just exist. She wore many different hats because she pursued all of her passions. I always encourage moms to pursue a passion project. We all want to give our kids the best but we can’t be effective mothers if we are depleted and uninspired. Maya performed music, acted, wrote plays, poetry, taught and the list goes on and on. She was a teenage mother working as a waitress when she decided to pursue her dream of becoming a performer and as a result she ended up traveling all over the World performing as part of the cast of Porgy and Bess. Are you setting aside some of your dreams because you are a mother? This is a great time to reflect and ensure that you’re not neglecting your calling. The last thing you want is for your children to view you as bitter and full of regret. So live fully!

    Lesson #2 : Don’t be afraid to love.

    5 Lessons for moms from Maya Angelou
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    Allow yourself to be led by love and to love your life. By loving life, I mean yourself, children, husband, family, career etc. Love not fear gives us access to all of our dreams. So don’t be afraid to let love guide your way. Listen to your heart and follow your love.

    Lesson # 3: No regrets just lessons.

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    While easier said than done, it’s important to forgive yourself for the mistakes you’ve made and move forward using the lessons you’ve learned. Let’s face it, none of us are perfect. Maya Angelou wasn’t perfect but she didn’t allow a few bad decisions to derail her entire life. As parents, we are bound to make some mistakes especially since kids come to us with no instructions. So don’t beat up yourself, instead take note of where you can do better and do just that. Don’t let the pass define you. Maya made mistakes, she admits to failing but ultimately it’s the lessons she focused on.

    Lesson # 4: Don’t allow anyone to tell your story for you.

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    It’s important for you to see your life through your perspective and only through your perspective. Reading Maya’s biography, I was stunned by some of the experiences that she had and I wondered why no one ever labeled her by some of the not so pretty things she’s been involved in. I started to think that it must be the way that she relayed her story with dignity, pride and inspiration. I’ve learned that perspective is everything in life. During motherhood, we are sure to encounter some bumps and bruises and we are responsible for telling our story with dignity and show the lesson instead of dwelling in regret.

    Lesson # 5: Focus on giving your children experiences not things.

    5 Lessons every mother can learn from Maya Angelou
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    This is a big one when it comes to parenting. Our goal should always be to make our kids feel fuzzy and happy on the inside. A lot of the time we get caught up providing them with incredible experiences and with nice things but we all know that things don’t make us feel good. Ensuring that they’re happy and well-adjusted is our job so don’t worry too much if the house is spotless or if they have all the latest toys and gadgets. Instead give them your time and attention and make them feel important and honored.
    These are motherhood lessons that I learned from Dr. Maya Angelou. Do you have any you would like to share with us?

     

     

  • Happiness, Mind and Soul, Positive Thinking

    Birthday Reflections

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    Maybe it’s because my birthday is so close to New Year’s Day, only a week after the calendar year changes. Whenever my birthday comes around, I like to take some time during the day to reflect on my location on my life’s journey and make plans to get my next destination. Now that I’m officially in my thirties, I feel a sense of firmness on the ground on which I stand. I’m quite sure about who I am and what I want. I can’t pinpoint the moment when I relaxed into my skin and cuddled my own heart so tightly but I am sure glad that I did.

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    Today I think about all the things that I wish that I knew and understood 5 – 10 years ago. I have no regrets, the lessons that I’ve learned shaped me into the person who I am today. But there are a few things that I wish I knew. Things that I would like to share and hopefully these are lessons that my children would appreciate learning from me.

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    Always listen to your heart and let it guide you.

    I made so many decisions based on hard facts, statistics and research findings because  I was always afraid to make a mistake. I blame the availability of the internet, at any moment I could “research” anything and as a result I’ve found some information that deterred major life decisions. It’s come at great costs; I’ve missed out on many opportunities that had the potential to change my life.

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    Never allow fear to stagnate your growth.

    Throughout my twenties I was ruled by fear; fear of failure, fear of change and fear of the unknown. It’s really only been in the last two years that I’ve realized that my fears were a major barrier for me and made the decision to get past them. How did I overcome them? I created more spiritual balance and spent a lot time reconnecting with my soul. There were points where I felt like I had run into an old friend. I started to reminisce about dreams that I neglected and soon felt energized again. I gained clarity and understood that my fears were responsible for me not fulfilling my life’s purpose.

    Make every decision independently.
    Some of the worst decisions that I made were because I listened to advice and took it from the wrong people. I’m happy to have learned this lesson. Now that I make all my decisions independently, I feel emancipated. I ensure that I dedicate time to quietly deliberate and listen to God’s guidance.

     

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    Live in the moment.
    I struggle with constantly looking forward to the future and holding onto the past. The present moment? I have a hard time sinking into. I’ve become better but I have a long way to go. My children devoid of life experiences are always in the moment. That allows them to truly bask in all of life greatness. When I play with them I follow their lead and I enjoy their company and their influence into not thinking about anything else.

     

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    Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

    I’ve had a very hard time asking for and accepting help. I remember one of Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday shows where they discussed the inability to ask for help. The guest (I can’t recall who it was) said that if you judge other people harshly when they ask you for help. You’ll judge yourself harshly when you need to ask for help. I don’t judge others harshly, I love been able to help and over the years I’ve developed an admiration for people who are brave enough make themselves vulnerable by asking. I think that this is one of the areas that fear stifles me because I still have that fear that I would appear weak and dependent.

    Put God above everything.

    I’ve always had a relationship with God but I had moments where I questioned his existence or strayed. In the last few years my faith has been strengthened and I feel much more confident about my life. He’s my safety net and because of that I’m not scared to face tough challenges.

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    Believe in your dreams.
    My dreams have always been clear to me but I’ve had a hard time consistently believing in them. I used to fight myself to create more “realistic” dreams or “safer” dreams. Now, I’ve accepted that I will never really live my life fully if I don’t embrace the dreams that have been put in my heart for a reason.

     

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    Persistence pays off.
    I used to run at the first bell. If I started a project and I got any indication of trouble I would discontinue immediately. As a result, I ended up with a trail of unfinished projects and “what-ifs”. I’m now adamant to finish anything that I start. When I hit roadblocks or challenges I slow down and let my creativity take control.

     

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    Trust in God’s Timing.

    I used to allow perceived disappointments to frustrate me. I believe that my emotional maturity allows me to accept that things don’t always happen in the time slot that I allocate but that doesn’t mean it’s not going to happen. I’ve learned not to fight too hard to get it done when I get disappointed  but to accept that the time is just not right. I think having two kids helped me with this. During both of my pregnancies, I convinced myself that I would give birth between 37-38 weeks. Both of my kids were born past their due date. Those last few weeks were difficult but I learned that no matter how many plans I made, I just had to wait. That’s how everything else in life works.

    What are some of the lessons that you’ve learned that you would like to share with your younger self, children or younger loved ones? Please share.