Mind and Soul

  • Cosmopolitan Fun Fearless Life Weekend Recap [Day 1]

    When I was 17 years old, I discovered Cosmopolitan magazine. I was still living in Grenada and I would beg my mom to buy  me a copy at a souvenir shop next to the supermarket. I would go home and sit on my balcony and read all of it…the juicy bits and the confessions. I was 17 and this was an interesting window into adulthood. Fast forward (about) 15 years and you’ll find me sitting at Lincoln Center in New York City on a cold Saturday morning at the same magazine’s first Fun Fearless Life Weekend event. Basically, I went from sitting on my balcony in the Caribbean to actually sitting in the audience of Cosmo’s audience in real life. Amazing right?

    funfearless-life

    [Tweet “From sitting on my island balcony reading @cosmopolitan to @funfearless weekend”]

    I was more than happy to attend the event as media because it meant that I not only cover for my own self development but to share my experience with all of you. Fun FearlessLife kicked off very early last Saturday morning, I really loved the way that the event was curated. Prior to the start of the day, attendees were able to get their makeup done by the Maybelline Team, take pictures with the latest accessories from the Express Collection, purchase products from the presenters and conferences souvenirs, check out the latest Spanx and network. Everyone was given smart bands that sent pictures to your email, entered you into contests etc.

    funfearlesslife

    The goal of the conference was to encourage and inspire young women to pursue their goals in a fierce and confident way. The moment that Joanna Coles, the Editor-In-Chief at Cosmopolitan hit the stage I knew that this goal would be achieved. There is nothing about Joanna to not like, she is funny, smart and down to earth. Actually, Joanna read and favorite many of my tweets which shows how down to earth she is. I think we all fell in love with her tell-it -like-it-is attitude  and her story. When Joanna was 9 years old she published her first magazine by herself and bravely sent a copy to Buckingham Palace for Queen Elizabeth. Buckingham Palace responded with a thank you letter and that was all the encouragement that Joanna needed to become as great as she desired.

    Joanna then welcomed on stage the marvelous Sara Blakely who is the Founder/CEO of Spanx and also the youngest female billionaire. That’s right – billionaire. Sara told her story in raw form, she didn’t hold back her struggles (financial or emotional). Let me tell you, Sara went through it all in pursuit of making her vision for Spanx a reality. Her idea was rejected and laughed at over and over but Sara didn’t stop. She didn’t allow what other people thought of her vision for her life stop her from achieving that vision. Some of my favorite parts of her story were:

    • When Oprah sent her team to Atlanta to record Sara at her “headquarters” having meetings with her “staff” and Sara had a friend she met at Mailboxes come over and pretend to be her assistant in her living room.
    • After not feeling confident about sealing the deal with Neiman Marcus to carry Spanx, Sara asked the buyer to follow her into the bathroom and lifted her skirt to show her Spanx which led to immediate purchase for 7 stores.
    • Sara went to Neiman Marcus stores often to move her products so they would be more visible to purchasers who would be interested in Spanx.
    • She named her product Spanx and it came to her in the middle of traffic and she pulled over to write it down. According to her own research, made up names do better for products.

    Moving forward when I think about the word branding, I’ll think about Sara. Sara is her brand, when she walked out she lifted her skirt to show us her Spanx. Just her story made me want to go out and a grab a few more.

    [Tweet “Attitude & Drive is what’s going to propel your success @Spanx”]

    Next we had a power women panel, these women are all very successful and powerful in their industries and shared their stories of sacrifice and working in male dominated fields. One of the ladies Sallie Krawcheck advice to women intimidated by men in the workplace was to play your own game be your best and don’t focus on the fact that you are female. Fake confidence until you completely feel it and don’t be afraid to let go and be vulnerable.

    Another topic that the conference covered that I enjoyed learning more about was the strength of weak ties in Dr. Meg Jay’s session. Okay, so I have to admit that I’ve never really thought about the power of weak ties. Until this session, I’ve always beat myself for not making my weak ties into strong ties. Well, turns out that weak ties are way more important that our “urban tribe” of bestie girls who are obviously important to us for daily life and our emotional well-being. However, weak ties are more likely to help us get a job, aid our career advancement and open us up to good opportunities.  So guess what we did? We all wore name tags so we can establish new weak ties. Of course, Joanna brought this conversation to life when she asked Dr. Jay how we can we reconnect with an old tie? She suggested highlighting shared experiences, events, times etc. Basically focusing on the things that you have in common. For instance, if you have an old friend from college you can share a memory that would ignite a fun time you spent together.

    funfearless-life

    After the power women panel we headed out for a break which meant time to snap pictures, makeup, shop or read Cosmopolitan magazines. Truly a girl’s dream. Maybelline gave attendees makeup while Express gave us all a cute clutch bag with a power pack to charge our phones. Cool right?

    [Tweet “”Stand up straight and realize who you are that you power over your circumstances”]

    We returned from lunch to learn all about the unspoken language – body language. TED talk sensation and Harvard professor Amy Cuddy had us all stand up and learn power poses. According to her explanation, we expand as we feel more powerful. She used examples of athletes, politicians and other powerful people standing with superman poses and with their hands out. She explained that power poses make people feel happier, remember positive memories and increase  (positive) risk taking. In situations where it would be inappropriate to strike a power pose, she suggested that you visualize yourself power posing. She shared that she’s been doing power poses with her son since he was a toddler and showed us pictures of his poise and confidences as a preteen. I was sold and when I got home, I power pose all night with my kids. Okay, all night is a bit of an exaggeration but let us just say that The Princess Fairy power poses every morning before school. The benefit for children? Building a proud posture, increase math performance and decreases the likelihood of your kid becoming a victim of bullying. I’ll take that!

    Here is Amy’s TED Talk if you want to learn more!

    Next we spoke about branding and social media with Twitter CEO Dick Costolo and YouTube star and now author Grace Helbig and in a nutshell  the message was the importance of being authentic. Share things you enjoy and people who you think are interesting. You should be able to watch your videos, read your tweets, look at your timeline and see yourself.

    [Tweet “Success doesn’t come without sacrifice.”]

    My last session for the day was with some powerful female entrepreneurs. It started with the founder of Origami Owl, Bella Weems who started her company at age 14 because her parents refused to buy her a car. Now at 18, her company is worth $250 Million, To get her company off the ground her parents made many sacrifices including selling their furniture and cutting off their cable. Bella’s advice to female entrepreneurs was to “Keep a positive attitude and remember success comes with lots of bumps in the road and doesn’t come without sacrifice.”

    Next, everyone was excited to hear Girl Boss author and Nasty Gal owner Sophia Amoruso’s journey and advice. Sophia shared how major mistakes, poor management skills, poor operations systems and inventory issues in her company allowed her to grow up in retail management and gain the experience she needs to run Nasty Gal. She shared that she had many bumps and bruises and stories of how she had to scramble many moments to make it work.  What struck me was her love for her team and their understanding and patience with her as an evolving and growing leader. My favorite quote from Sophia was “Create desire and over deliver on everything you do.”

    [Tweet “”Create desire and over deliver on everything you do.””]

    Then I headed home but not before grabbing the opportunity to be on the cover of my beloved Cosmopolitan magazine.

    funfearless life

    I started writing this recap thinking that I could squeeze everything that I learned in two days into one recap but the conference was so awesome. I’ll have to share a part two with Day two. xo

    How are you a funfearless female? Do you incorporate any of these into your life?

     

  • Oprah Life You Want Tour Recap #LifeYouWantNJ

    [Tweet “Oprah Life You Want Tour Recap #LifeYouWantNJ”]

    Every Sunday morning at 11 am, I settle into my sofa with a cup of tea and an open mind to watch Super Soul Sunday on Oprah’s OWN channel. I’m a self-development junkie and I love this show because it gives me exposure to new books and spiritual teachers or trailblazers as Oprah refers to them. This weekend was different, I spent it with Oprah and her trailblazers. Wait, let me type that again. I spent the weekend with Oprah and her handpicked trailblazers Elizabeth Gilbert, Iyanla Vanzant, Pastor Rob Bell and Mark Nepo.

    Oprah Life You want Tour New Jersey was epic, it was two days filled with resources and activities to inspire and provide you with the tools to live your best life.

    As I sat in my seat on Friday night, I was bursting with anticipation for Oprah to step out on stage. It wasn’t just me, everyone was alert and present trying their best to savor the moment. We were all wearing our O  Tour wristbands which made us feel like one and part of a community. It was magical to see the bands change colors and they looked like thousands of stars in the Prudential Center.

    Oprah radiated in this gorgeous dress, her aura is beautiful. You could tell that she is genuine and really wants us all to live our best lives. She shared her life story, from a poor girl to a successful woman not to show off but to inspire us to live our best lives and not just exist. Here’s what moved me the most:

    Live The Life You Want Weeken

    [Tweet “Follow your instincts, that’s where true wisdom manifests itself.-Oprah”]

    Listen to the whispers in your life

    Whether you call it intuition or God’s voice, it’s important to be in tune and listen to the whispers in your life. Listen even when it makes you uncomfortable or even when it doesn’t make any sense. Oprah used examples in her own life such as when she worked as a news anchor and was making $22,000 at 22 and everyone around her believed that it wouldn’t get better than that. She heard the whispers that it would, that she could do better and this wasn’t it for her. She warned that if you ignore the whispers, they would turn into pebbles, then bricks and eventually brick walls.

    Life You want tour

    Life You Want Tour

     

    Life Your Want tour

    Identify your purpose

    We must connect the dots of everything we do and then look at the thread to connect the dots to figure out what our purpose is. Oprah used herself as an example, she was always good at talking. She was reading in church at 3, got herself skipped to grade one from kindergarten at 5, landed a job on radio at 16 and was reading the news at 22. We all have a thread that ties everything we have done or do together and once you determine what that thread is, then you can identify your purpose.

    Be cautious with your words

    I think this was one of the biggest messages of the weekend. Be thoughtful about the words you use when talking to yourself and to others. I am in the process of working on this. I am very encouraging to my friends and family but I am a work in progress when it comes to speaking life and positive words to myself. Maybe this is something we can do together if you struggle with this. I started this morning with positive affirmations in my mirror. As moms, we are teaching our kids how to speak to themselves by example so if I am saying that “I’m look fat” or “I’m so stupid” that’s the way my children will talk about themselves. Oprah encouraged us to use the power of our words to co-create the life that we want. Say it out loud and write it down she encouraged us. Words are just your thoughts out loud so choose the way you think about things because from your thoughts the energy of your life flows.

    Life You want tour New Jersey

    Cure your disease to please

    This one is a big mommy attribute, it’s hard for us to say no to our friends, children, spouses, coworkers or anyone who we care about. We say yes, when it’s inconvenient or bad for us because we are afraid that saying no would ruin relationships or give people the impression that we are not nice. Oprah used the example of giving a donation to a charity that she didn’t want to but she was afraid they would think she wasn’t nice. It wasn’t until Stedman pointed out that “she wasn’t nice” because she was doing it to please and not because she sincerely wanted to that she realized that she was doing it out of fear and not of love. She encouraged us to set boundaries with the people in our lives or else we would end up lost trying to please everyone but ourselves.

    [Tweet “When we set a vision for ourselves the universe rises up to meet us”]

    Life You Want Tour
    Oprah with the trailblazers

    Hero’s Journey

    One of the best parts of the weekend for me was Elizabeth Gilbert’s workshop. I read Eat, Pray, Love a few years ago and I loved the book. Whenever the movie comes on television, I drop everything just to watch it. Following your instincts and leaving everything that you’re comfortable with is hard and I think that’s why so many of us admire Elizabeth. My biggest takeaway from Elizabeth was “If you plan on changing your life, don’t expect it to be easy or painless.” or as Iyanla Vanzant put it “The life you want is on the other side of the labor pains it takes to birth it.” Elizabeth explained that “In between, where you are and living the life you want is a vast dangerous zone. It’s a brave journey. Moving from the old and familiar to the new and unfamiliar.”

    Life You want tour

    [Tweet “If you plan on changing your life, don’t expect it to be easy or painless”]

    Stop trying to squeeze yourself into something that doesn’t fit you anymore

    Talking about Ms. Vanzant, she was one of the trailblazers that I was excited to see. Last year, I cried and rejoiced as I read her book Peace from Broken Pieces, I was pregnant and I couldn’t put the book down. I read it on my commute, while I did my laundry, before I went to bed and during any moment I had a chance to. Her life’s journey and her resilience is intriguing and there is so much to learn from her story, as a mother and as a woman. Her message this weekend was to stop trying to make things, people or circumstances that no longer work for your life fit. We all have friends who we’ve outgrown who we are afraid to let go of. She used the analogy of a dress she bought one size to small convincing herself that she could easily lose 10 pounds to fit into it. She also stressed the importance of forgiving the people in our lives who’ve hurt us so we can move forward without bitterness. Easy to say, hard to do but very necessary for our peace and happiness.

    We were all given workbooks to evaluate where we are currently in our lives journey, create a vision for someone who we love dearly and by the end of the day create a new vision for ourselves with all that we learned. I loved the exercises and the affirmations in the workbook. It’s something that I will hold onto for a very long time.

    life you want tour

    It wasn’t all workshops. We danced, we sang, we laughed and by the end of the day everyone in the Prudential Center felt like a big family. A family who felt more confident and motivated to live their best lives in a cynical and challenging world. If this tour is coming to a city close to you, I would highly recommend it. I am still on a high and feeling great and I know this feeling will stick around for a while. I commuted 2 hours each way to get to New Jersey for two days and and it was completely worth it for me.

     

    About “Oprah’s The Life You Want” Weekend:

    “Oprah’s The Life You Want” Weekend is an eight-city arena tour and transformational weekend featuring Oprah Winfrey and a team of special guests, sponsored by Toyota and Olay.  Each tour stop spans two days. On Friday nights, Oprah takes the stage, bringing her personal story and insights to life in a one of a kind intimate evening.  Then on Saturdays, Oprah leads a day-long gathering of thousands with handpicked thought leaders and pop culture icons including Iyanla Vanzant, star of OWN’s hit series “Iyanla Fix My Life,” regular O Magazine contributor, best-selling author and spiritual life coach; best-selling author of Eat Pray Love, Elizabeth Gilbert; and one of Time 100’s Most Influential people, Pastor Rob Bell. Additionally, world-renowned author and pioneer in mind-body medicine Deepak Chopra will take the stage in select cities.  “Oprah’s The Life You Want Weekend” is produced by Harpo Studios, O, The Oprah Magazine, OWN: Oprah Winfrey Network and WME Live, and is presented by Toyota and Olay.

    You can purchase tickets http://www.oprah.com/tour

    TOUR STOPS:

    Oct. 17-18                 Houston, Texas                   Toyota Center

    Oct. 24-25                 Miami, Florida                      American Airlines Arena

    Nov. 7-8                     Seattle, Washington           KeyArena at Seattle Center

    Nov. 14-15                San Jose, California           SAP Center at San Jose 

     

    Are you going to the Life You Want Tour in your city?

  • Inspiring Kids Using Technology #InspiredMobility

    Teaching kids about spirituality isn’t easy y’all! Regardless of your religious background there isn’t a simple way to explain something that isn’t tangible. Besides weaning and potty training, I started to feel as if this was one of my biggest challenges as a mother. I must admit that until a couple of weeks ago, I presented religion in a very traditional manner to my daughter. I wanted her to take it seriously, this isn’t a game right? Well, wrong. My daughter who will be turning four in just a few weeks isn’t exactly used to reading books that are not filled with colorful pictures and characters and she loves games. So, her interest in my bible was pretty low. I started to feel helpless.

    [Tweet “Inspiring kids using technology #InspiredMobility”]

    I didn’t know how else to approach the situation until I wrote the ways Iuse technology to stay inspired. That’s when a light bulb went off in my head, why not use technology to teach the Princess Fairy? I needed some resources to start, so imagine my excitement when I got the opportunity  through AT&T to speak with Jason Caston, Creator of the iChurch Method, Social Media and Technology Director at T.D Jakes Ministries and Spokesman for the AT&T Inspired Mobility Campaign. More importantly, Jason is a husband and father and so I knew he would understand the challenges of teaching kids about God.

    [Tweet “When approaching kids, keep in mind that they are visual and have very short attention spans”]

    According to Jason, kids are visual and have short attention spans so it’s important to find and use technology that appeals to these needs. He explained that since our kids were born in an era where technology is widely used in everyday life, they use it instinctively. His family uses a few different children bible apps but he mentioned the YouVersion children’s bible so I decided to download it. My daughter and I started using the Youversion children’s bible for our morning prayer about three weeks ago and she loves this bible. It’s interactive, grabs her attention  and tells the bible stories in language that a young child can understand. The images are bright and attractive but not over-stimulating. The kids can also answer trivia questions and collect rewards which reinforces the message.

    Youversion Children Bible Review
    The YouVersion Children’s Bible

    Since, this generation will be using technology more than ever to remain inspired, I just had to to ask Jason if technology would eventually replace the brick and mortar church? According to him, while technology enhances the experience it will never replace the the healing, community building and relationships that are developed in person. He explained that we have spiritual needs that must be met in person.

    I’m amazed and excited that we can use technology to keep our kids inspired. Stay tune as I explore more inspiring iTunes and Leapfrog bible applications.

    How do you use technology to keep your children inspired?